


darling, stop confusing me

by milkcan



Series: ég fylgist með þér, hvernig þú hreyfir þig bak við veggfóðrið [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Baking, Coming Out, Crushes, Gen, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 08:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19663180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkcan/pseuds/milkcan
Summary: "I'm non-binary. You callin' me 'brother dear' or whatever makes me feel somewhat awful because I'm not a boy. Or a girl, for that matter. So don't call me it anymore."Lukas is just looking at them. Egill sighs."I don't hang out with you as much as I used to because all y'do is tease me. I don't mind the teasing so much, but I mind th'brother part. Please stop calling me that."They feel the weight of the confession dissipate and they slouch into the chair. Lukas just nods. He's been staring at Egill through their confession, face unreadable."Ohhh."They scowl and nod again."Me either."(Egill comes out to Lukas and they catch up with each other.)





	darling, stop confusing me

**Author's Note:**

> iceland: egill steilsson/thomassen, they/them, high school student. absolutely whipped for their bff leon. just came out to him as nonbinary a few hours ago  
> norway: lukas thomassen, college student, just wants a good relationship with his younger sib  
> hong kong: lei siu "leon" wong, he/him, high school student. just came out as bi to egill a few hours ago  
> romania: dimitrie, she/her  
> denmark: mikkel, he/him  
> england: arthur, he/him  
> belarus: natalya, she/her  
> (magic quartet bffs owns my heart)
> 
> title comes from bjork's play dead!

Egill opens the door to their house with a push and a sigh, toothpaste and Lukas' requested cocoa powder in hand. It's only been about ten minutes since they dropped Leon back off at his house, but they already miss his presence. Coming out had gone _way_ better than expected, with Leon going completely out of his way to use the correct pronouns. He had even called them "m'thude" at some point during their time at the arcade. It made Egill's heart swell. They lock the door behind them.

_He's also bi. Or pan?_

They're halfway down the hallway to the kitchen when Egill stops.

_Shit. He looked at my mouth when he said that. Am I remembering that correctly? Is it even appropriate to think about that?_

"Oh, yer home."

Egill looks up at the direction of the voice. Lukas is standing at the counter, mixing bowl, pan and various other baking utensils set out in front of him. They bite back a sigh and nod.

"Yeah. Hey. Here's your cocoa."

They walk towards the counter and Lukas meets them halfway, taking the container from their hands.

"How was yer outing?"

Egill bites back _another_ sigh ( _seems all I do is sigh around him_ ) and settles on squeezing the toothpaste tube.

"It was good." They're looking everywhere but him.

_I've had enough socializing today, and I surely don't want to socialize with_ him _of all people right now. 'Brother dearest,' ugh_.

Lukas hums in response and sets the container on the counter behind him. "Are you alright?"

Egill narrows their eyes. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" _Like I would tell you otherwise._

He's staring at them blankly and Egill can't help the irritation that bubbles in their stomach.

"Why don't y'keep me comp'ny while I bake?"

The irritation spikes and they shoot him a look. "Seriously?"

Lukas nods. "Unless you need t'be somewhere?"

Egill closes their eyes and sighs. _Maybe I'll just tell him and get it over with._ "I don't, no."

They take a seat at the table and Lukas goes about turning to the pantry. Egill watches him place bags of dry ingredients on the counter, not exactly registering _what_ he's doing, suddenly very nervous with their decision to stay and potentially tell their brother exactly what they told their best friend not even three hours earlier.

_Maybe I should just leave while I can. This was impulsive anyway._

"Egill."

The kid in question jolts to attention. Lukas is holding a wooden spoon with chocolate cake batter sticking to it out to them. They flinch and shake their head.

"I'm not a child. Just wash it."

He looks at them steadily and Egill's irritation spikes again.

"'s just cake batter."

They roll their eyes. "Y'trying to give me salmonella?"

Lukas snorts and shrugs. Egill isn't sure if they want to yell at him or just take the spoon, but that thought is cut short when Lukas pops the spoon into his mouth and turns back to the kitchen.

_Ugh..._

"Am I holdin' you from something?"

That catches them off-guard. Egill shakes their head, even though Lukas can't see them. "No?"

He's pouring the batter into a pan - _what is this cake for? -_ and he hums in response.

"Y'always seem t'be annoyed with me."

This _really_ catches Egill off-guard and they're thankful Lukas isn't able to see the way their eyes pop open.

_You're right. Wow. But half of it isn't even your fault, it's just me who's terrified and the other half is you calling me 'brother dear' which is_ annoying _in itself._

"Really? I'm not. Just busy."

Lukas has turned to look at them now. "Y'sure?"

Egill narrows their eyes. " _Yes_ , I'm sure, why would I lie?"

He holds their gaze a bit longer and then turns back to the oven. "You're right," he turns the oven on. "I just miss m'little brother."

Something in Egill snaps and they grit their teeth, feeling their face heat up in annoyance.

"Actually _Lukas_ , if y'were to ever ask me, you would _know_ I'm not your brother."

_Okay well. That came out harsher than I wanted._ Lukas spins back around, eyebrows quirked in mild surprise.

"Are you disowning me?"

Egill flushes in embarrassment. They clench their jaw and exhale sharply through their nose. Lukas is looking at them steadily.

"I'm not. Let me explain, I guess." 

Lukas goes around the counter and takes a seat next to Egill at the table. They suddenly feel a _lot_ smaller and significantly more embarrassed. Lukas leans his head against his palm, waiting. They scoff to avoid shrinking on themself.

"I'm non-binary. You callin' me 'brother dear' or whatever makes me feel somewhat _awful_ because I'm not a boy. _Or_ a girl, for that matter. So don't call me it anymore."

Lukas is just looking at them. Egill sighs.

"I don't hang out with you as much as I used to because all y'do is tease me. I don't _mind_ the teasing so much, but I mind th'brother part. Please stop calling me that."

They feel the weight of the confession dissipate and they slouch into the chair. Lukas just nods. He's been staring at Egill through their confession, face unreadable.

"Ohhh."

They scowl and nod again.

"Me either."

_Huh?!_

Egill whips their head to look at him, eyebrows raised in a mix of complete shock and slight annoyance. _Again?_

"What d'ya _mean_ 'me either?'"

Lukas crosses his legs. "I won't call y'brother anymore." Egill shakes their head in disbelief.

"Oh, can I call ya 'sibling dear' then?"

They sit up in their seat, a bit frantic. "Can we pause?"

Lukas stares at them and they open their mouth, snap it shut, then settle on shaking their head again.

"Yer so weird!"

He shrugs. "Egill, 'm just pausin'."

They huff. "Fine. So," Egill mirrors Lukas' crossed legs. "Are you not cis, too?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?" They can't hide the disbelief in their voice.

"I could ask y'the same thing."

Egill sighs, defeated. "Fine."

Lukas is quiet and folds his hands in his lap. Egill chews their lip.

"I have a few questions."

"I do as well."

Egill shrugs expectantly. "Well?"

"You first."

_Ugh!_

"Fine! So." - _eloquent -_ "What are you, I guess t'start. And what pronouns?"

Lukas looks thoughtful for a brief moment. "Non-binary is th'best way t'put it. Any pronouns are fine."

Egill narrows their eyes at him. "Is that why y'didn't tell me? Because any pronouns are fine f'r you?"

Lukas nods and they shake their head. "Do you _prefer_ any specific pronoun?"

He shrugs, nonchalant. _This feels like pulling teeth._ "Not exactly. They, them is nice, however."

Egill nods quickly. "Fine." Lukas pops his knuckles idly and they feel the urge to scold him.

"Can I ask y'the same?"

_Why not just like, you know, ask me?_

"I'm also non-binary, except I _only_ use they, them."

"Fine."

Egill's eyebrows shoot up. "Fine?"

"Yes. I'll use them fr'm now on."

Egill sighs and slumps against the table with folded arms. They can feel Lukas' hand on their shoulder. It's the most comforting thing he's done through the entire exchange and they embrace it.

"Yer the second person I've come out to today and _both_ times have been so depressin'ly easy. It feels like I shouldn't have been worried at _all_."

The hand rubs their shoulder a little bit. "It's fine an' understandable that y'were, Eg."

Egill turns their head to look at Lukas. "How did y'know?"

He raises an eyebrow. "That I wasn't cis?"

"Yeah. Y'seem so _uncaring_ about it."

A tiny smile spreads across Lukas' face. "I _am_ uncaring about it," he snorts at the incredulous look that crosses Egill's face. "I've known f'r _years_ that I wasn't, but didn't care much t'put a label on it."

It's Egill's turn to snort. "Sounds like you." Lukas nods.

"When _did_ you put a label on it?"

He uncrosses his legs and sits up a bit. "Recently, actually. D'mitrie and I got into chattin' about it and she helped me piece it t'gether."

Egill rests their head onto their folded arms. "Are y'comfortable?"

Lukas purses his lips. "Yes."

"Are you out to anyone else?"

He looks thoughtful again. "You. Dimitrie, Arthur, N'talya. Mikkel," Lukas looks off in thought briefly. "That's all. I've thought about mentionin' it to _mamma_ , but maybe another time."

Egill breathes a laugh. "She barely understands y'being bi."

The small smile on Lukas' face spreads a bit more. "Right."

They turn their head to look forward and they both sit in silence for a moment, taking it all in.

"How did _you_ know?" Egill looks back at him.

"That I wasn't cis?" Lukas nods and they make a face.

"Well, I think I always knew? I've never felt like a _boy_ or a girl for that matter." Lukas nods again for them to continue. "I've always been just, _me._ "

He nods, then folds his arms. "An experience?"

Egill snorts in response. Lukas doesn't say anything, so they continue.

"And it never bothered me until I hit puberty, I guess, an' I started havin' crushes, not knowing where to put myself _according_ to the gender of my crush."

Lukas nods again. Egill's irritation spikes again.

"So. Yeah. That's it."

"Who else are y'out to?"

Their irritation peaks and they glare at him. "Do ya have any _original_ questions?"

Lukas shrugs, unfazed. "I'm only curious. Y'said you came out to someone else today?"

_Ugh._ They sigh.

"Yeah. Leon. Only you an' him know so far."

A tiny _ah_ escapes Lukas. Egill clenches their jaw.

"I also have a _bit_ of a crush on him an' it's eatin' me alive."

Lukas hisses out a laugh and they look at him, suddenly _very_ embarrassed. He has a hand over his mouth, laughing quietly to himself. Egill feels their face heating up.

_Why the_ hell _did I say that?!_ They groan and bury their head into their arms.

"Come on, tell yer big _sibling_ more."

Egill lifts their head to look at him. "I will leave."

Lukas sobers up immediately at their words. "Okay," he stands. "Bye then." 

It's Egill's turn to laugh and they sit up. "Yer so _strange_! Sit down." He does just that and they shake their head.

_Literally, what the hell?_

"You're very obvious about th'crush, by the way."

They groan, holding their head in their hands. "Am I actually?"

Lukas has crossed his legs again. "Yes. Leon is even more obvious, h'wever."

Egill whips their head to look at him, eyes wide. "Lukas, I _will_ leave."

He puts his hands up in defense, but it's ineffective because his face is expressionless _again._ _How strange._

"Hear me out. He's very handsy with ya, no?"

They roll their eyes. "Well, _you're_ handsy with Dimitrie."

"We're datin'."

Egill's mouth hangs open. "Yer kidding. What _else_ haven't you told me?" Lukas shakes his head.

"Unimportant, this is about you."

They close their mouth and sigh through their nose. "How is Mikkel takin' that?"

Lukas stares at them and Egill looks off. "Nevermind. Continue."

They don't miss his tiny huff before he continues. _Soft spot, huh?_

"His eyes linger on ya for longer than most."

Egill opens their mouth to retort, but is cut off. "Also. He wears cuffed jeans."

They shrug deeply, face flushing and trying _not_ to think about Leon's legs right now. "Okay, so? So do I!"

"And yer bi. Point proven."

_Check and mate. Asshole._ Egill slouches into the chair. Then sinks further into the chair, until their chin touches their chest and they groan.

"Is he straight?"

They sigh. "Actually-" 

_I could tell Lukas this. He won't tell anyone._

"He came out to me today. He's also bi."

Lukas nods. "Great." 

Egill folds their hands against their stomach. "And," they close their eyes, embarrassed. "Maybe I'm hopeful, but he said, 'I'm bi,' then he like, looked at my mouth, I think, an' then said, 'or pan?'"

Lukas stands, shaking his head. Egill straightens up in their chair. "Am I just overthinkin' it?"

He pushes the chair in and leans against it. "I bet if y'asked him on a date, he would accept in a heartbeat." Lukas stalks back around the counter and into the kitchen to check on the cake, and Egill can't help the irritation that spikes in their stomach again.

_Know-it-all_.

**Author's Note:**

> so many headcanons came to a head here LOL i love norway and icelands relationship so much
> 
> this was supposed to be published during pride month but ive been busy :-[ sike though cos pride is forever babey
> 
> again, im nonbinary but please tell me if something is incorrect!!


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